As we like to say here at Stoner Things, you could be higher. Always. Unless you’re too high.
How high is too high? That depends on the circumstances, but it’s usually pretty obvious. If you’re having a hard time placing your name, you should probably stop toking for a while.
There are other signs that you’ve taken things a little too far. Here are five of them.
1. You can’t get anything done
If you let weeks pass after April 15 before you get around to your taxes, you may be over-consuming. The same goes if you let your roof collapse while your head is stuck in a bong.
Marijuana isn’t exactly a stimulant, so it’s not going to make you want to write term papers or anything. But if it’s stopping from you from getting things done, it’s time to cut back.
2. You eat mangoes whole
Mangoes are great for you, full of vitamin C and other nutrients. Also, they make you higher when you toke. So a wonderful fruit, all around. But if you find yourself biting through the skin just for an extra buzz, there may be a problem.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t enjoy mangoes. Far from it. There really is no downside. But if they’re your only source of calories, you need to start asking some questions.
3. You can’t stop talking about how high you are
Yes, it’s amazing how high you are. Truly fascinating. But only to you: not to other people.
It’s not really all that unusual that you – or anyone else – would be baked like a potato. So while a particularly good trip might be worth a declaration along the lines of, “Goddamn I’m high,” don’t overdo it. Once is enough.
4. You subscribe to Netflix only for the stoner flicks
Do you spend every Saturday night rehashing the most hilarious moments in Reefer Madness? Do you know every line of The Big Lebowski by heart? Do you host regular stoner film retrospectives, complete with a smoke-friendly home theater?
If so, yeah, you’re too high. Even if you decide not to cut back on the pot, you need to expand your entertainment horizons. There are some great movies that have nothing to do with getting stoned.
5. People really can tell you’re lit
Mostly it’s just paranoia, that feeling that everyone around you knows you’re stoned. Mostly, they don’t. But sometimes you just get so high there’s no hiding it, even from the people who haven’t got a clue. That’s probably too high.
Being baked isn’t like being drunk. It’s much easier to keep it hidden from people who don’t know better. Most stoners have their own version of gaydar, but we don’t really need to sweat each other. When squares can tell you’re high – then it’s time to worry.