Smoking weed is a good idea pretty much any time of day. From wake and bake to bake and sleep, cannabis makes life so much better.
But sometimes you need a reason, a little nudge out the door. You’re a stoner, so you won’t have to look far. To get you started, here are five of the best excuses for toking, in no particular order.
It’s 4:20 p.m.
420 may be the universal code for “stoner,” but it’s also a great time to lay back, roll up, and toke.
It’s no accident that 4:20 comes at the perfect time of day for a siesta. The term 420 marked the end of the school day in San Rafael, Cal. – specifically, the end of after-school sports practice for a group of boys who studied there.
Every day, at roughly 4:20 p.m., the boys would head off into the forests of the San Gabriel Mountains in search of a marijuana plot abandoned by a soldier. They never found the weed, but happily, they gave stoners a reason to make something of the afternoon – every afternoon.
It’s 4:20 a.m.
Really, does it matter whether it’s night or day? A well-timed bong rip is a well-timed bong rip whether it’s light outside or blacker than pitch.
If you’re up at 4:20, this is an ideal way to go to sleep. If you’re just getting up – let’s say you’re a pothead farmer or something – what better fuel for the day? Or you could set your alarm, wake at 4 a.m., wait until it’s time to smoke, and then go straight back to bed. Why? Because you can, that’s why.
You Just Bought Glass
The last thing you want to do after buying a nice piece of glass is wait. You want to get the thing home and get right to it, make sure it works, make sure you spent your money wisely. Or just get baked. Whichever.
Hell, it doesn’t even have to be glass, or even man-made. A handy pineapple, a cored apple, a block of wood and something sharp – anything that works as a pipe is excuse enough to get wasted.
You Just Passed a Drug Test
You passed! Huzzah! Now that graveyard gig in private security is all yours! Be proud, spark up, and enjoy the party.
If you beat the test, use the opportunity to celebrate your intelligence and guile, and be happy in the knowledge you pulled one over on a boob in a lab coat. If you passed because you don’t use, hey, what better time to start?
It’s important to remember, though, that drug tests, whether random or scheduled, sometimes come back around again. So maybe try to keep a second job in your back pocket – ideally with a boss who doesn’t care what you smoke.
It’s Your Wedding (or Graduation or Anniversary or Funeral)
It shouldn’t be a big surprise, but legalization was followed closely by the advent of the marijuana wedding. Happy couples in Colorado and Washington have modeled their nuptials on cannabis themes, and at least one generous pair gave joints as gifts.
The usual dose of champagne toasts is all well and good, but why not turn your wedding into a rock concert by lighting up with all your guests on the dance floor? Weddings are a great excuse for many things: extravagant spending, lavish honeymoons, crazy sex. Why not make it another reason to toke?