Who doesn’t love a prank? Well, the victims, usually. But isn’t that kind of the point? Pranks bring us all down to the same level, remind us that everyone will fall for something.
Stoners make especially good pranksters – and especially good victims. We’re creative when we’re high, but we’re also gullible.
Whether you’re pulling a prank or getting pulled, play along. It’s all in good fun – at least until someone burns the house down. In any event, here are four of the best pranks you can pull on a fellow toker.
1. Steal a stoner’s weed
This is the easiest stoner practical joke of them all. No equipment or planning required. Just take your friend’s weed when he or she isn’t looking, then stuff it down your pants or hide it or something.
This works best when your friend is high, since it will be hard to remember where he or she put the pot. Offer to help and drag your stoned friend all over the place looking for weed you already have.
Better yet, replace the marijuana with tobacco or some other smokeable herb that looks sufficiently like reefer (but doesn’t get you high). Don’t just grab any old plant, though – make sure your friend can smoke it without harmful effects. And definitely avoid tobacco if your friend is an ex-smoker. Otherwise, have fun driving a fellow pothead loopy.
2. Change a stoner’s clocks
This will only work if your stoner friend spends long stretches of the day not paying attention. As soon as he or she falls asleep, set all the clocks in the place forward an hour or two.
Then watch your friend panic in the morning. You won’t actually make your friend late, but he or she will definitely get flustered trying to figure out where the time went.
Try not to mess with workday routines too much; you don’t want to get your friend fired. But maybe screw up a good weekend or something. And when your friend catches on, just say it was all so you could share a laugh, and a lot of weed, when the scrambling was done.
3. Feed a stoner straight brownies
Never dose an unsuspecting person, not even a stoner. You’re liable to be arrested and charged with assault by drugs, a very serious crime. Besides, as the 60s proved, it’s a bad idea to give drugs to people who don’t want them.
But you can definitely have some fun feeding your stoner friend edibles that don’t really have weed in them. Granted, most longtime stoners could easily tell the difference – marijuana tends to taste like marijuana – but some people won’t catch on. And watching them pretend to be high when they’re not could be a lot of fun.
If you want your “pot” brownies to be especially convincing, use some real pot in the cooking process. As long as you don’t use cannabutter or cooking oil infused with pot, you’ll get the taste and smell of weed brownies without the actual THC to make your friend high.
4. Put an FOP sticker on a stoner’s car
Look at it this way: Either you’re doing your buddy a big favor or you’re sending him or her to the slammer. On the one hand, your friend might get pulled over by a suspicious cop and spend a night in jail. On the other, your friend might never get a ticket again. Great fun, either way.
FOP, by the way, stands for the Fraternal Order of Police. It’s the country’s best-known police union, and cops routinely put FOP stickers on their personal cars. Why? Because it reminds other cops not to pull them over.
But the law is vague at best when it comes to others who display the sticker – whether they do it because they love cops or because they hate traffic tickets. If the FOP itself were to ban civilians from using it, civilians probably couldn’t use it. But the Order has never done this – no doubt in part because that might alienate civilian donors.
Still, you could really throw your stoner friend for a loop with this sticker. All these years your victim has spent fighting the man, only to end up advertising for him.
5. Make a joint ‘pop’
Making a joint crackle when someone tokes always gets quite a reaction. And the perplexed look on their stoned face is really amusing.
Wait until someone rolls a joint and leaves the room. Then, grab a lighter and repeatedly roll the striker wheel, allowing small bits of flint-dust to fall into a pile on the table. Grab the joint, and roll it in this small pile of dust, trying to cover the joint as evenly as possible.
Then all you have to do is wait until they blaze it up, and watch their confused look as they try to figure out why it’s happening.