Everyone remembers their first time. No, not sex. Weed. For stoners there are certain baptismal moments that mark entrance into the marijuana community.
Whether it’s a first joint, a first dab, or a first vape, these rites of passage come only once – and once they’re gone, you can rightly call yourself a pothead. Here are a few of them.
1. The First J
It’s probably a safe bet that your first encounter with marijuana came in the form of a joint. Cannabis cigarettes have been with us since the early 20th century, and they’re easily the most popular means of delivering the drug.
It’s also a safe bet that first J carved itself a permanent spot in your memory. You may not have had any idea what you were doing, and you probably drooled all over the thing, but you were never the same again.
Whether you first toked in grammar school or grad school, losing your weed virginity was almost as important as losing the real thing. Cherish the memory and pay homage to it every day.
2. The First Bong
Most stoners start out with nothing and build from there. A 20-something toker may have little or nothing to spend on paraphernalia once the pot money is gone.
But when your income reaches the level where you can spare a few hundred dollars on a glass piece, you’ve entered a world of increased stoner devotion. It’s not the most exclusive club in the world, but it’s better than nothing.
Arguably, bongs get you more stoned, which is a plus. Also, if you haven’t taken bong rips while listening to The Chronic with a shady friend who wears sunglasses indoors, you just haven’t lived.
3. The First Dab
Hash oil may not be a rite of passage for long. It’s easy to get in states where pot is legal, and it’s increasingly easier to get elsewhere.
But for the time being, it’s rare enough when most people come across hash oil that it can serve as a badge of stoner authenticity. Learning to make the stuff can be very dangerous, and you should probably leave butane out of it, but if you can pull it off, you can definitely call yourself a pothead.
4. The First Black Market Buy
Thankfully, this particular rite is on its way out, too. But those of us who beat the legalization clock will always have fond memories of that first score.
There’s something strangely special about passing cash to a skeezy dealer early in the morning behind the dumpster at a TGI Friday’s. You’re not really doing anything all that dangerous – a simple possession rap rarely comes with any serious jail time. But it’s the experience that counts.
5. The First Zip
Early on in our toking careers, most pot smokers buy weed by the eighth of an ounce, or maybe by the gram. It’s a relatively cheap weight, and if you don’t smoke much it can last days or even weeks.
But you have to grow up sometime. Buying by the ounce is nothing unique – lots of people do it. But that first zip is a big step forward. Besides, you can often save money by buying in bulk.
None of these rites of passage will make you a real stoner. Only pot can do that. But it can’t hurt to experience each of these milestones along the way.