Independence Day has come and gone, but summer is far from over. Indeed, the hottest, sunniest days are still in front of us. That means plenty of opportunities for summer trips to the beach, summer games of Frisbee golf, and, of course, lots of summer picnics.
Nothing beats a sweaty day at your favorite park or private outdoor setting, with food, drinks, and naturally, weed. But what should you, as a stoner, bring to make the experience perfect? Don’t forget the dope, of course, and use this handy list to make your next picnic great.
Hot, sunny days call for one thing above all: cold booze. Bring domestic, imported, craft, whatever the hell you want, but make sure to bring enough so everyone has at least two cans or bottles with their names on them.
Be careful mixing alcohol with weed: Each can amplify the effects of the other. In moderation you’ll be fine, as long as you don’t get behind the wheel. There’s no point in a lovely picnic if you can’t make it home in one piece.
Vegetarians beware: Marijuana can induce powerful meat cravings. Which is one of the many reasons God invented barbecue. Whether it’s pork, beef, or McRibs, barbecued red meat will satisfy your munchies and give you some much-needed sluggishness for your post-picnic sofa binge.
Corn on the Cob
Plan to keep that grill going – no picnic is complete without buttered, salted corn on the cob. Bring enough for two per person, and maybe pack a few extras just in case. Well-grilled COTC is a picnic staple and a must-have at any outdoor lunch.
If your picnic is closer to home, you could boil or microwave the corn, but who are we kidding? That’s just a waste of good crops. Grill it, grill it, grill it.
You can’t really call it a summer picnic if you don’t bring potato salad. And no, tuna salad or egg salad or Jello salad or any other kind of mayo-infused salad won’t cut it.
Potato salad is nothing more than potato chunks, mayonnaise, mustard, eggs, onions, and other easy-to-find ingredients. Make it yourself if you dare, but be warned that people tend to take their potato salad very seriously; mess with it at your peril.
Make sure to include some wet hot-weather fruit in your picnic basket. Watermelon is the best choice for most summer occasions, but other melon will do. Honeymelon is an especially tasty alternative. Oh, and apparently mangos get you higher.
Don’t forget chips, cookies, and other munchables. The best bet is usually plain tortilla chips with salsa or guacamole, but people seem to like Doritos, too, and even Cheetos make a suitable recreational food choice.
It should go without saying, at least around here, that the best part of a summer picnic is the pot. Marijuana was made for the outdoors – it grows best in the tropics, and a good stone is perfect for watching the lazy clouds drift by overhead.
Joints and spoon pipes usually work best, and there’s no point in lugging your glass bong with you. Keep it simple: weed, pipe/papers, and lighter. Period. But watch out: Toking is illegal in every public park in America, especially the national ones. Be discreet or, better yet, find a quiet, privately owned outdoor space for your perfect pot picnic.