We’ll have what he’s having.
When an East Texas man, allegedly high on some really good shit, was nipped on the buttocks by his dog in May, he proceeded to call 911 and report the injury as a gunshot wound. The police officers who responded found a minor puncture in his posterior and a lot of marijuana on his porch.
The man, a resident of Groesbeck, Texas, called police after he thought someone had shot him in the buttocks in his mobile home park. When police responded to the scene, the man flagged them down and said the gunshot hit him on the left side.
But police quickly determined what really happened: The man was smoking cannabis on his front porch during a rain storm when a clap of thunder scared one of his dogs. The dog leaped up and bit the man through the seat of his pants, police said, but he was too baked to realize his injury resulted from his pet rather than an armed neighbor.
Confused, the man called 911 to report a direct hit by gunfire, police said. Emergency medical technicians treated him at the scene for his dog bite, but he was not hospitalized or immediately arrested. The Groesbeck Police Department attracted thousands of comments and reposts after releasing the incident report on Facebook.
It’s an open question what else was in the cannabis the man was smoking. It would take some pretty potent THC to lead a smoker to confuse a gunshot wound with a minor dog bite.
Other cannabis-related 911 calls
But it does happen – quite often. An Ohio man made a notorious 911 call last October to report he was “too high” on cannabis. When police arrived to investigate, they found the 22-year-old man curled in the fetal position on his floor, surrounded by “a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and Chips Ahoy cookies,” according to the police report.
16The year before, a Texas woman called her local emergency services line because the cannabis she had just bought wasn’t dank enough for her needs. All marijuana is illegal in Texas, yet the 37-year-old woman allegedly dialed 911 after determining her dealer had ripped her off.
Early in 2015, a Florida couple high on other drugs called the cops after mistakenly concluding they had locked themselves in a closet. The door, it turned out, was open the whole time – the couple were just too stoned to turn the knob. They escaped drug charges only because they used everything up before they were “freed.”
Stories of dog involvement in marijuana incidents are not uncommon, either. In May a Mississippi black lab mix named Miley brought her owner a plastic bag full of marijuana. The dog had gone looking for a place to pee and found the pot somewhere along the way. The owner who lost it was never identified.