A fat joint is almost always a good idea, unless maybe you’re an astronaut or a brain surgeon. Really, who needs an excuse to smoke good weed?
Still, certain moments in life are especially weed-worthy. So here’s a list of the five best opportunities to light up and toke. Take advantage of every one!
The Graveyard Shift
Nothing helps pass the early morning hours like a pipe full of weed. If you have a job with little oversight, you can make your night a lot better.
Janitors, warehouse workers, grocery clerks, security guards, and anyone else who burns the midnight oil: You know you hate working so late. It wrecks your day. But it’s also the perfect chance to put your favorite drug to good use.
Avoid if you work at a hospital or operate heavy machinery. But if your night consists of a dead shift at Dunkin’ Donuts, go ahead and sneak behind the dumpster for a few puffs on your smoke break.
The Baseball Game
If you look carefully enough, you can usually find a nook or cranny at your local baseball park where you can smoke a J. You’ll have to dodge stadium security, but really, they have other things to deal with. Drunk people, for one.
There’s nothing quite as relaxing as a long day at the ballpark, especially if it’s outdoors. Overpriced beer is all well and good, but wouldn’t you rather have some quality pot to move the innings along?
Cooking is best done on an empty stomach. Hunger prods the imagination and makes the food that much tastier when it’s ready. So why not cook with the full-on munchies?
When we’re baked, our olfactory cells, which process smell, become disinhibited. That means food aromas are more intense than they would normally be. Hence, we get especially hungry when we’re high.
Usually a bag of Doritos will do the trick, but sometimes you want something a little more nuanced, a little healthier, a little tastier. So learn how to cook and pack a bowl.
The Rock Concert
Is there any image more iconic than a stoner lighting up at a rock concert? Of course not. That’s because weed and popular music go hand in hand.
There’s a reason you see so many lighters at concerts, and it’s not because people come prepared for the show. They come prepared to spark.
Toking is banned at most concert venues, whether by law or by policy. But it’s unlikely that has stopped many stoners from enjoying some weed while they watch their favorite bands.
OK, we’re not talking high school here. Kids shouldn’t smoke weed, period. And if they do, they should at least keep it out of the classroom. Except maybe phys ed.
College is a different matter. The fact that pretty much every institute of higher learning in America bans weed on campus only makes the experience that much sweeter. Trust us, there’s a time in your life when you should have to break the rules to live the life you want to live.
Wouldn’t you rather sit through that intolerable physics lecture lit on a nice sativa? Wouldn’t a joint make the library more tolerable? Frat parties? Football? When you’re a college student, everything goes better with weed.