Keep Weed Weird!

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Once a train really gets going, it can take a mile or more of track to stop it. Marijuana is like that. It’s going mainstream, it’s going mainstream fast, and there’s almost nothing anyone can do to stop it.

But change isn’t always happy. Ask anyone who lived in Austin, Texas, in the 1970s. It’s a different place now, much less weird than it was, much more suburban. Natch for Portland, Ore., and even San Francisco, God help us.

So the struggle is on to keep weed weird before the suits take over and turn the place into Comcast. But how do we do that? How do we keep weed from becoming the next PBR – a fate the entire world should seek to avoid?

We can’t really answer that question, at least not by ourselves. But we have some ideas. Here are three.

Keep Weed Illegal Somewhere

Marijuana Police

Once marijuana goes legal, it instantly loses almost all its mystique. When was the last time you bought booze from some guy you never met in a McDonald’s parking lot at midnight in January?

There’s just something about that quasi-criminal experience you can’t get at a legal pot shop or medical dispensary. Weed kind of isn’t supposed to be so easy to get.

Public consumption laws will always make it theoretically difficult to light up at rock concerts and presidential inaugurations and such. But a steep ticket isn’t the same as a night in jail.

So who gets the short straw? Definitely not the feds – they’ll be among the last to go legal, but we desperately need the reform at that level. Let’s say Alabama. They’ll be the last ones to go anyway – and the state’s law-obeying stoners will have 49 other lovely places to choose from.

Buy Local

Local Glass Paraphernalia

Pot is a local drug; it’s all about community connections, inside humor, and sharing. Denying a stoner guest a dip out of your sack is widely considered an act of rudeness in the weed world.

The same goes when it comes to buying paraphernalia and supplies. You don’t have to be a glass snob to support local blowers. They probably make the best pieces in your head shop anyway.

There’s not much you can do about where your pot comes from, unless you grow it yourself (which you should probably do anyway, because why not?). But supporting legalization is a great way to boost local farmers. States with legal cannabis can’t import weed under federal law, so those places enforce local growing requirements. And that’s a good thing.

Encourage Weed and Sex

Marijuana Sex

Love makin’, as Barry White would call it, will always be at least a little taboo, especially when it’s not supposed to be happening.

So maybe some of that illicit experience can rub off on pot (pun intended). Lots of people drink to enhance sex, but when has that ever actually worked? Weed is different, and convincing the world of that could go a long way toward keeping marijuana weird.

If you’re into porn, support performers who smoke up on camera. We’re not talking about weed porn here, we’re talking about weed in porn. Just sayin’, that could make a lot of money. Also, it would keep pot in the hands of the freedom-loving scumbags who have always made it great.

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